If you’ve been reading my stories, you know that I’ve struggled to master English. English grammar is bizarre, and managing English is damn difficult task for a non-native speaker.
At the beginning, when I was learning to write in English, I took my draft to English learning center at the University of Washington for editing. My drafts usually looked like a bloody fresh meat out of slaughter house after every round of edits using red pen. It was demoralizing.
Growing up in a totalitarian regime, I was forced to be very careful about what I do and what I say.
I know that my English has improved during the last 24 years. And, I finally understood that it was OK to have my own ritual and discipline for writing, without being worried about following certain rules. I also learned to be committed and diligent to the process of writing.
There is nothing more exhilarating than the act of writing for me. After a few hours of writing, I feel drained, satisfied, intellectually challenged. When I’m done with writing, my body is heavy, my mind is tired, I am a bit languish, my energy level is low, but my soul is drunk with heavenly wine. My mind is light and bright. There is a sensation of ecstasy, of Allah / God, of expansion. The same feeling I have after a satisfying sex!
I remember once I read, from a writer, that I cannot remember her name, that ‘A life is too short to live once.’ So, she tried to live her life a few times in her books.
Growing up in a totalitarian regime, and following strict “red lines” as a journalist, I was forced to be very careful about what I do and what I say. Also, being a non-native-English-speaker in the U.S. newsrooms stripped me off my confidence. Yet, I never gave up. Never!
A meaningful piece of writing that can reach the reader’s heart and mind requires a great deal of courage and vulnerability.
I always wanted to write about my experience as a journalist in Iran. I never felt safe to write about this chapter until recently. After Mahsa Amini, the newest uprising in Iran; and knowing that my family is safe and wouldn’t be hurt due to my writings; and after numerous therapy sessions; I got the courage to write.
A meaningful piece of writing that can reach the reader’s heart and mind requires a great deal of courage and vulnerability. If I am not willing to tell you something about myself, however, large or small, I do not gain your trust. If you, as the reader of this essay, feel that I am not sharing something meaningful about who I am, I lose you.
So, I can give you a secret that is sacred for me. And, you give me your love and attention. I think we’ve reached a mutual understanding, don’t you?
With love and gratitude,
Sara Saideh Jamshidi
More related readings:
We Wrote in Symbols, Love and Lust by Arab Women Writers: Selma Dabbagh
Readings in Syrian Prison Literature: The Poetics of Human Rights
The Beauty of the Houri by Nerina Rustomji
Please Pledge to Our Peace Journalism.
Goltune is editorially independent. We set our agenda. No one edits our editors. No one steers our opinion. This is important as it enables us to stay true to our values.
Every contribution we receive from readers like you, big or small, goes directly into funding our journalism. Please support Goltune, large or small.
Send your contributions to our PayPal account: [email protected]
Or, Click the link to pledge your support.
Thank you,
Goltune Editorial Team