I suffer from the “cancel culture” in the American social system. My friends cancel on me for work, for boy-friends, for emergency situations, or for made-up reasons just because they do not want to leave their houses. I do the same. I cancel on my friends because I am not in the mood to leave the house, because I must complete a last-minute assignment from work, or I don’t want to meet anyone after a fight with the hubby, or even for no reason, really.
I recently returned from a three-week trip to Europe, and the first thing I wanted to do was to meet my friends. The first one canceled on me a day before our meeting. I called the second friend, and we agreed to meet. I begged her not to cancel on me.
Before Napoleon III, Parisian streets were very narrow. Revolutionaries could block the streets easily; they could bar the king’s army from passing through to disarm them; and eventually, they successfully overthrew kings.
As I contemplated this kind of “cancel culture” rampant in many U.S. social settings, I wanted to see how Parisians and Londoners (the two cities I visited on my trip) deal with their appointments. I don’t like to call it an “appointment” when I visit my friends. But, this is how it feels. I must agree to “see” my friend on a designated time and place, and I am lucky if s/he won’t cancel on me!
Paris
Around 2 million Parisians are living in 4.7 sq. mi in Paris. In Seattle, we are about 7.3 thousand people in 83.7 sq. mi.
Every morning, I left my apartment for my routine morning meditation walk to go to a small beautiful garden at Paris 11. Not long ago, right around the beginning of the 18th century, Napoleon III, the last French monarch, assigned Baron Haussmann to carry out a massive urban renewal program of new boulevards, parks, and public works in Paris. Haussmann divided Paris into twelve arrondissements. They were numbered from west to east, with the numbers 1-9 situated on the Right Bank of the Sein and numbers 10-12 on the Left Bank.
Napoleon III wanted to create a beautiful city while trying to control France’s numerous revolutions that usually started in Paris. He ordered 60 percent of the city to be rebuilt in the 18th century. He wanted large and airy boulevards that attracted lights. He also wanted to protect Paris from its numerous revolutions. Before Napoleon III, Parisian streets were very narrow. Revolutionaries could block the streets easily; they could bar the king’s army from passing through to disarm them; and eventually, they successfully overthrew kings. Revolutionaries couldn’t block wide streets easily. Napoleon III’s ideas even worked in Paris’s latest riot. Police were easily able to gain the right of passage and intervene.
Paris is organized in numerous 4 to 6 floor buildings where shops are usually at the bottoms, and people live on the top. My apartment was at the third floor of a real estate office and a clinic for audio diagnosis.
There was a restaurant and coffee shop at every corner. After my walks, I went to one of the restaurants to drink my morning espresso and check on news on my cellphone, since there was no English language of French newspaper in Parsi.
Many restaurants were open until 1 or 2 a.m. Canceling an appointment was rare, and no meeting felt like an appointment. Friends would text or call to meet at some place to drink and smoke. No one was living to work. Parisians were living to drink, smoke, and have a good time.
At some point Michael, my British tour guide at the Louver Museum, told me that his wife went to a doctor to check on her headache, because they thought she might be pregnant. “The doctor told my wife to take more vacation,” he said. “Our bakery at the corner of our house closed for five weeks for vacation. Parisians take their vacations so seriously,” he said.
London
In London, around 10 million people are living in 607 sq. mi in the megacity, compared to 8.4 million New Yorkers in 302 sq. mi. If we consider 31 million tourists in 2023, we are talking about lots of people in a large vicinity. London doesn’t enjoy Café culture, the same way Parisians do. Nevertheless, I found Londoners kinder and more compassionate toward tourists compared to Parisians.
Parisians struck me as rude, never-smiling people. However, just like in Paris, I found that the friends I met did not cancel our meetings and appointments. When my friends in London said they would meet, we met.
I loathe this other American “cancel culture.” I dislike the idea of working to live. I don’t want to become a machine for capitalism that just thinks of green bills and nothing else. I want to do my best to never participate in the damning “cancel culture,” in the U.S. Help me, God.
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